"Sit the fuck down …nobody leaves till I get my nip"
HOW COME YOU GOTTA MARRY SOMEONE AND LIVE WITH THEM AND HAVE BABIES WHY CAN’T YOU JUST BUY A HOUSE WITH YOUR BEST FRIENDS AND JUST EAT PIZZA EVERYDAY AND PLAY GAMES ALL THE TIME IT WOULD BE LIKE A LIFE LONG SLEEPOVER AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BREAKUPS OR THE D
"Homophobia: The fear that another man will treat you like you treat women." ~ (unattributed)
Bless the human who made this post
We’re so bad at sex and then we wonder why women aren’t like, really aggressive about sex. We think it’s cause they don’t have as much desire as we do. That’s how stupid men are, that we think ‘they’re just weird, women are like fucked up in the head cause they don’t wanna just fuck all the time. If I was a women, I’d just fuck everybody. Why don’t they wanna fuck all the time? I do’. Of course you do, cause when you fuck, you get to fuck a woman! When she fucks, she has to fuck a guy! Wildly different experiences. For a man, 100% of the time, it’s the greatest thing that ever happened in his entire life. For a woman, about 40% of the time, when she’s being fucked by a guy, she’s thinking ‘I’ll get over this in a week. It’s not the worst thing. I’m not gonna cry this time’
“Another thing that proves how bad men are at sex is that after sex, you’re looking at two very different people. The man just wants to lay there, be cool and the woman wants to cuddle…’Why is she so NEEDY?’ She’s not needy you idiot, she’s horny, because you did nothing for her. YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. HER PUSSY IS ON FIRE BECAUSE IT’S GONE UNFUCKED COMPLETELY. Of course you’re fine, you climbed on and went “KFHGSKG” and rolled off. And she’s on you because she’s like ‘WH-at SOMETHING ELSE HAS TO HAPPEN, THIS IS BULLSHIT!!” If you fuck a woman well, she will LEAVE YOU ALONE. ‘Thanks a lot buddy, zzzzz’
Oh, Louis CK, advocate for the female orgasm.
Nothing has ever been more accurate.
icicles & fairies
Dante’s Inferno: a helpful diagram to eternal damnation
You don’t need to read this.
This is how stupid I can be when incredibly pissed.
This is a self shaming post.
Today a motherfucking asshole in a motorcycle crashed my car and fucked up my front bumper. Of course, he fled. And no, I didn’t do anything to earn it. And yes, it was completely out of my control.
I did not know my car ended up as bad as it did, when I got out of the car and saw what happened to it I automatically started crying my heart out, I can’t manage frustration and anger together very well. When I got back in, I hit the steering wheel many times with my fist as I cried and screamed all kinds of things. I hit it really hard. A painful dark purple/blue/gray and swollen nebula is the result.
I hate my stupid anger+frustration combo reaction.
I hate the people in this fucking city.
I hate it how all my energies were drained from the moment I saw my car, and I hate it how I can’t let it go.
I hate it how close I was to getting shot/killed, considering that the vast majority of the motorcycle drivers in this city are armed (illegally, of course).
I hate to be filled with hate for a number of things I practically can’t do anything about.